


andante

by scorpionGrass



Category: Yu-Gi-Oh! Zexal
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Drabble Collection, F/M, Falling In Love, Holidays, Post-Canon, Slow Burn, Underage Smoking, Unrequited Crush
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-01
Updated: 2021-03-05
Packaged: 2021-03-10 22:27:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 6,161
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28474653
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scorpionGrass/pseuds/scorpionGrass
Summary: A year in Kotori's life after she kisses Tenjo Kaito on New Year's.(Updates coincide with the date they're posted, so Valentines update will be on Valentines, etc.)
Relationships: Kamishiro Rio/Vector, Kamishiro Ryouga/Tsukumo Yuuma, Mizuki Kotori/Tenjou Kaito, Mizuki Kotori/Tsukumo Yuuma
Comments: 10
Kudos: 13





	1. new year's eve

5... 4... 3... 2... 1... Midnight hits and the tradition of kissing strikes everyone in the club. Some are drunk and sloppy and, in Kotori's case, stolen, as Anna pulls a bewildered Yuuma in first. So of course the logical decision is to grab Kaito, who’d been minding his own business on the couch, alone and looking absolutely ready to go home.

He tastes like whatever he’d been drinking, sweet and bitter all at once. When Kotori pulls away, he catches her shoulder with a warm hand and smiles.

“It’s okay,” he says, like he understands. “Happy new year, Kotori.”

She flushes, not sure if it’s the soft way he talks over the pounding music, or the alcohol she’d had over the course of the night. His eyes look almost charcoal in the hazy lights, and they look directly at her.

“Happy new year,” she responds, before turning away and rejoining the rest of the party.

(Kotori touches her lips as Cathy hands her another drink, some blue concoction that she downs in one go. It tastes just like him.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> happy new year, everyone~


	2. new year's day

Dawn comes, as it always does. Kotori wakes up to silence, save for Rio’s soft breathing in her ear. One by one her senses come back to her, the comfortable heaviness of Rio’s arms over her waist, the scent of the lavender aromatherapy spray she keeps on the pillows, the taste of whatever she’d had to drink last night still on her tongue. When Kotori opens her eyes, she remembers where she is.

Rio’s room is warm and familiar. The Kamishiro Mansion is quiet for the first time in a long time at this hour, and Kotori relishes it. The way she can’t hear anything but Rio. No morning arguments, no blender going off, no Vector grating on everyone for fun, no nothing.

Kotori slowly sits up and presses herself back against the headboard, hand settling over Rio’s like an anchor. She wonders if Yuuma came back to the mansion too. If she’d find anyone passed out on the couch downstairs. If he’s rooming with Ryoga or Vector or Alit, because they’re the reasons he spends all his free time hanging out here, like he’s forgotten about her.

Before she can think much about anything, Rio stirs, eyes fluttering open, half-lidded.

“Good morning, beautiful,” she says, sleepy and soft.

“Morning.” Kotori’s voice cracks with disuse and she clears her throat. “Ready for a new year?”

Rio smiles, burying her face into Kotori’s hip. “Ready to hear all about your kiss with Kaito last night.”

She’s hungover, enough to feel heat rising to her face, her cheeks dusted pink at the hazy memory. “He was hot. And available,” Kotori says, because it meant nothing other than trying to make someone jealous with questionable results. “And Yuuma was taken,” she adds quietly.

“I see,” Rio teases.

“I’m serious!”

Rio just giggles, wrapping her arms around Kotori’s waist. “If you say so. But it looked pretty hot and heavy to me. Is he any good?”

Kotori can’t remember. She recalls how soft his skin was when she’d cupped his face in her hands, the way he’d kissed back and swiped her lips with his tongue. How warm he was, how pretty he looked in the strobe lights by himself.

“Yeah, I think so.”

“You think so?”

Kaito was nothing but soft against her. Soft, and yielding, and… Kotori shakes her head. “Ugh. Remind me not to make decisions I can barely remember in the morning,” she says dismissively, scrunching up her nose.

Rio grins in that sleepy hungover way of hers, a familiar sight that has Kotori smiling back. “Let’s go back to sleep,” she says. “It’s not often we get to enjoy the quiet.”

Kotori slides back down between lavender-scented sheets, curling against Rio’s side. Her last thought before she drifts off again is whether Yuuma saw too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i love sleeping in on new year's day~ posting this from my laptop in bed


	3. january 14th

_ >> hey sorry for the short notice, can you watch haruto tonight? _

Kotori reads the message over again with a sigh. It’s been two weeks and her heart still skips a beat when she thinks about Kaito and how easily he let her kiss him. And yet here she is anyway, outside his apartment door, fist raised to knock.

It takes her a minute before she actually does, rapping the door twice before stepping back and waiting.

“Thanks so much for coming,” Kaito says when he opens the door for her, letting her in from the cold. “Chris apparently needs me tonight. Something happened at the lab over the break.”

“It’s alright,” Kotori tells him, slipping off her boots and stepping onto the warm wooden floors. “Where’s Haruto?”

“Eating. Don’t worry about dinner, I covered it,” he says. “Just, I don’t know. Make sure he does his homework? He mentioned the new unit’s kinda tough, so he might have questions.”

“Sure. That’s easy enough,” Kotori says, accidentally making eye contact. When he smiles at her, she hitches her scarf higher over her face to hide her blush. She tries to smile back. “Get going. I got this covered.”

“Thanks again,” Kaito says, rushing out the door.

Kotori locks it for him, hearing his footsteps hurrying down the hall before he can remember to do it himself. She sighs, taking off her coat and looking around the familiar tiny entryway, the rack of coats and the shoes piled up below the step, then back into the apartment where she can see the empty living room, light streaming in from the kitchen.

“Haruto?” she calls out, walking in.

“In here!”

Kaito’s room. She strides in to see him sitting at the computer, with an empty plate beside the keyboard on the desk. “Hey,” she greets, setting her school bag down next to the dresser and sitting on the bed.

Somehow it feels awkward now, to sit on Kaito’s bed like she has so many times before, but she buries those thoughts deep down.

“Hey,” Haruto says, spinning the chair to face her. “I heard you guys had a lot of fun on New Year’s.”

“Yeah--”

“You kissed Kaito, right?”

Kotori just knows her face is betraying her right now, flushing a bright red. “How’d you know?”

Haruto shrugs, grinning at her. “Kaito’s got loose lips when he’s tipsy.”

She rolls her eyes. “What’s your new unit,” she says in a not-so-smooth attempt to change the subject. “He said you’re having trouble.”

“I was lying,” he says smugly. “It’s so easy! I could probably do the equations in my sleep.”

“What--?”

“So, do you like Kaito?”

An ambush. Kotori licks her lips and tries to aim her best stern look at Haruto, but he just laughs. “Was there really an emergency at the lab too?” she asks, already tired.

“Of course there was. I’m not a criminal!”

“Could’ve fooled me,” Kotori says wryly. “So what now? Do you have any homework I can help with, or are you gonna poke and prod me about Kaito all night?”

Haruto snickers. “I bet he’d like to poke and prod you all night--”

“I swear to God--” Kotori flops back onto the bed with a groan, staring at the ceiling and wondering what she did to deserve this (other than kissing Kaito in the first place). “I miss when you were cute and innocent and told me I was pretty.”

“You are pretty!”

“... Thanks.”

“And I’m still cute!”

“... Okay, fine, you’re still cute.” He really is, too. Kotori doesn’t know how genetics work, but Haruto’s growing up to be as handsome as his brother. She covers her face, shaking her head to get rid of that thought. Kaito has always been easy on the eyes. Nothing has changed there.

“Wanna stargaze?” Haruto asks into their comfortable silence, fiddling with his D-Gazer. “It’s super clear out tonight.”

“You just wanna smoke,” Kotori grumbles into her hands.

“It’s medicinal!”

“For Kaito, not you.”

“But Kotori--”

She sits up and sighs, gripping her hands into the sheets for courage. “Fine. But only because we have nothing else to do, and because it’s not some shady shit you got off your friends, okay?”

Haruto jumps up and hugs her tightly with a bright smile. “Okay! Let’s go,” he says excitedly. “Apparently Uranus is supposed to stop moving tonight in some kind of retrograde and I wanna see it.”

“Okay, okay,” Kotori says, smiling at his enthusiasm. “To the roof?”

“To the roof!”

As they tread back through the apartment and into the tiny entryway, putting on their shoes and coats and grabbing the lawn chairs propped up against the wall under the coat rack, Kotori feels conflicted.

It’s been a couple of months since she caught Haruto with weed in his backpack, of all things, but she can’t help but feel for him. PTSD from everything that happened, half-lucid memories that wake him up sweating in the middle of the night, and an absolute aversion to horror movies with all their screaming. She was there for all of it as his babysitter, and now as his tutor.

He’d said weed calms him. That he isn’t getting nightmares anymore.

“I know I can’t stop you,” she’d told Haruto that day. “So the least I can do is make sure you’re not being stupid.”

(But Kotori still doesn’t know what she’ll do if Kaito ever finds out.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the thing about uranus that haruto talks about is actually gonna happen tonight! i read about it [here](https://www.space.com/33974-best-night-sky-events.html)
> 
> in case anyone is wondering, this fic takes place about a decade post-canon, so i imagine haruto would be 16ish here.


	4. january 15th

It’s late and way past midnight when Kotori finally convinces Haruto to head inside. They pack up the lawn chairs and blankets, deactivate their D-Gazers, and head down the rickety fire escape and back inside the warm apartment.

“It’s a school night,” she’d told him, and he whined at her for five more minutes until suddenly it was almost two in the morning and Kotori had to put her foot down.

Kaito still isn’t back.

“He’s probably staying at the lab,” Haruto says flippantly, but Kotori can see the tense set of his shoulders, the way he’s annoyed even though he’s smiling. “I wouldn’t worry about it.”

(She’s worrying about it.)

There’s never any expectation to clean, but Kotori finds herself doing just that anyway as Haruto goes to brush his teeth. Emptying the dishwasher, reloading what’s in the sink, putting away leftovers, and washing the pan Kaito had cooked in. Then she tidies up the living room too, picking up and putting away all the familiar gadgets she’s seen the two tinker with for fun, along with the stack of tech magazines that Haruto collects.

“You don’t have to do all that,” Haruto calls from the bathroom.

“Who else will?” It’s nervous energy. It’s a school night. She huffs out a sigh. “Should I call him?”

“Nah, don’t bother--”

“I’m gonna call him.”

Kotori’s all but a familiar fixture in their life, and Kaito’s only ever been at the lab this late a handful of times before. This is all normal, so normal that calling him shouldn’t be a big deal (but it is). She pulls out her D-Gazer and hooks it over her ear, dialling him.

“Kotori?”

“Kaito. Hey. Um, it’s late--”

“You can go home,” he says. “This is taking a lot longer than I thought, sorry for making you stay so late.”

“It’s not that.” Kotori glances over to the bedroom, where Haruto is climbing into bed, and lowers her voice. “You know Haruto isn’t okay when he’s alone, right?”

“I thought he grew out of that?”

“Not… really. Kaito, listen,” she says, biting her lip. She’s not sure how to tell him this. “He didn’t actually need help with school tonight, so you don’t have to pay me or anything, I just. I think I should stay over, at least until you get back.”

“But you have class in the morning.”

“Yeah, but the last train already left.” Kotori shakes her head. “That’s not the point. He hates being alone. Why do you think he lied about needing help with his homework?”

For a moment, there’s nothing but silence over the line. Then, finally, he concedes. “Okay. You know where everything is, right?”

“Of course I do.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. I know work is important to you. That’s why I’m here,” she says. “To take care of him when you’re not around.”

Kotori can hear the smile in Kaito’s voice when he says, “You’re the best. I’m gonna pay you anyway for tonight. You’re doing me a huge favour.”

“It’s…” Kotori feels her cheeks heat up. “It’s nothing.”

“It’s not nothing. I gotta go, but thank you.”

“No problem.”

The line goes dead and Kotori sighs. This is normal. She’s stayed over before, slept in Kaito’s bed or on his couch while he pulled all-nighters at the lab before, taken care of Haruto while he went through worse than some bone-deep loneliness he doesn’t want to admit to anyone.

She heads to the bedroom and leans against the doorframe, watching Haruto as he curls up in bed with his D-Pad. “I’m staying the night,” she says quietly.

“You are?”

“Yeah.”

Haruto sits up, unsure eyes lit up by the screen of his D-Pad in the dark. His hand comes down onto the pillow beside him. “Then… sleep here.”

“Okay.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.”

His face doesn’t break into relief, but the tense lines relax a little, and that’s enough for Kotori. As she pulls out a t-shirt and pajama pants from Kaito’s dresser and finds the toothbrush they keep for her in the cupboard under the sink, she thinks maybe everything will be okay.

This is normal and always has been, whether or not she kissed Kaito (and he kissed back).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> haruto is so cute and i love him


	5. january 28th

It was supposed to be just them. Just Kotori and Yuuma and Rio and Ryoga and Kaito, like it had been when they travelled the world, like it had been in her first year of middle school.

It was supposed to be fun.

Kotori slides back into the booth beside Yuuma, smiles as she watches Kaito look after their hotpot, giggles at a joke Rio makes. The pot simmers, little bubbles of broth sticking to the edges. There’s no reason to be this tense, she reminds herself. But she is anyway.

It’s probably a good thing she’d brought makeup along. To fix it all when she sobbed in the bathroom stall.

“Are you okay?” Rio asks softly from across the table.

Kaito glances at her, but doesn’t say anything. Yuuma and Ryoga are too busy talking about something that Kotori can’t parse out because her thoughts are a trainwreck and she’d rather be home.

“I’m fine,” she says, smiling a little too brightly. Her eyeliner isn’t perfect like it was, the wings messed up from her tears. If anyone notices, they don’t point it out. “Just tired.”

Rio grins at her. “Know what’ll fix that? Some fresh air. C’mon.”

“Okay.”

She shuffles out of the stall, grabbing her coat from the hooks against their seats. Kotori follows only because Rio grabs her arm and pulls her up. She slides her arms through her pink coat and trails after Rio, who’s already got her vape pen out.

The air outside is chilly, snow falling around them in thick flakes that catch in Kotori’s bun, everything bathed in the orange glow of the streetlights. Rio starts up her pen, her other hand falling heavily onto Kotori’s shoulder.

“What’s up? I know you were crying.”

“I wasn’t--”

“Don’t lie, you upped and left quick enough.”

Kotori licks her lips. Of course she knows. Turning away, gazing out across the street, she wishes she knew why. A reason that didn’t sound stupid. “I got an email.”

“Yeah?”

“It’s stupid, Rio--”

“It’s not stupid if it made you cry.”

Kotori stuffs her hands in her coat pockets, already freezing from the cold. But even though the air bites at her skin, it still feels nice. To be outside and not suffocating. “That internship I told you about. They rejected me.”

“Is that such a bad thing?” Rio takes a drag off her vape pen and breaths out a puff of cotton candy. A new cartridge, Kotori figures, because last time it’d been cinnamon rolls. “I mean, that’s… good, right?”

“I told you, it’s stupid.”

“Yeah and your eyeliner is fucked and you cried tracks through your BB cream,” Rio says, like that can negate how ridiculous she feels. “You said it was your last resort, so? Isn’t it fine?”

“No, I--” Kotori cuts herself off, shaking her head. “I don’t know. I just… it was my last resort. The one that was supposed to be guaranteed.”

“Oh,” Rio says, like it’s clicked. “Shit.”

“Yeah. And, if I don’t land a job before graduation, I’m screwed.”

Instead of saying anything, using words that Kotori knows neither of them have, Rio hugs her. “You’ll be fine. Things will work out like they always do,” she says softly. “You’re the smart one. You’re smart and cute and amazingly talented, and one of those recruiters will see that, okay?”

“Shut up, you’re gonna make me cry again!”

Rio laughs in her ear. “You’ll be fine. You’re the one, out of all of us, who’ll be fine,” she says, pulling away and glancing through the restaurant window. “Hey, I think it’s all done cooking. You still hungry?”

“So hungry,” Kotori affirms. “Crying always makes me hungry.”

When they go back inside, sliding back into the booth, the boys all welcome them back. The hotpot is all done cooking, the meat so tender it melts in Kotori’s mouth. Yuuma’s jokes are as terrible as ever, though she still catches Ryoga hiding his smiles like always. And Kaito, who gently patted her shoulder before serving her first, who looks at her so softly Kotori can’t help but believe Rio.

She’ll be fine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i really felt like having a hotpot chapter in january, so here :3 the gang having hotpot together~


	6. february 3rd

Heartland University is exhausting. Or maybe it’s just the slew of lab reports due every week, the coding assignments, and the ever-looming placement she still hasn’t obtained. Kotori wakes up, cheek plastered to the pages of her textbook at her desk, and wonders when school got so damn hard.

After a good look in the mirror, she applies extra concealer under her eyes with her ring finger before grabbing her school bag and heading off for the day.

Her D-Pad has no good news for her, three new rejection letters staring her in the face when she checks her email. She sighs, rolling back and forth from her heels to her toes as she waits for the monorail. There are only so many jobs available, and competing against all the boys in her program isn’t exactly a cakewalk.

Sexist assholes.

Hooking her D-Gazer over her ear, she dials Rio.

“Hey, girl!”

“Hey,” Kotori says, yawning. “You already on campus?”

“Yeah, why?”

“Wanna grab me a coffee before class? I’m running late.”

Rio snickers on the line. “What kept you up? Was it--”

“No. Whatever you’re about to say, no.”

Rio just laughs harder. “Okay ‘Tori. I’ll get you coffee. Anything else for my sleepy princess?”

“You’re the princess, Rio,” Kotori grumbles. “See you soon.”

“Don’t forget, we have a quiz today!”

“Ugh…”

The line goes dead and Kotori sighs. Somehow, some days, she thinks collecting Numbers with Yuuma had been easier than whatever this adult stuff is all about.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kotori's being relatable as all hell tbh


	7. february 13th

At 3:42PM on February 13th, Kotori’s doorbell rings and her eyes snap open.

“Fuck.”

She throws her quilt to the side, feet barely making it into her slippers as she rushes out of her room and down the stairs, grabbing her robe and haphazardly throwing it on. She nearly trips over the shoes she’d left in a pile by the entrance the night before, and runs her hands through her hair in an attempt to tame it, before opening the door.

Alit grins at her, a shopping bag held in one hand. “Damn, did I interrupt something?” he asks with a laugh, stepping in and picking at the loose strap of her bralette as he passes.

Kotori puffs out her cheeks. “No,” she mumbles, shutting the door behind him, adjusting it back over her shoulder.

The house is a mess and Alit lets out a whistle. “You forgot I was coming, didn’t you?”

“No,” she protests a little louder this time, wrapping her robe a bit tighter around her. “I didn’t forget!”

Alit just shrugs, heading straight for the kitchen where there are two bottles of wine on the counter, one empty, the other halfway there, and Kotori flushes as he picks one of them up.

“Are you… hungover?”

She snatches it from him. “No!” Then she sighs. “I just had a bad night, okay? I’m glad you’re here.”

Before she can drop the bottle into the recycling, Alit wraps her in a bear hug, resting his chin on her head. “So you saw?”

Her cheeks burn. “Yeah… on Instagram.”

He must spot the chocolates she’d made yesterday, in a clear box tied off with a bow she’d spent over ten minutes trying to fashion into a heart. “Aw shit,” he mutters under his breath. “You made those for Yuuma, didn’t you?”

“Maybe,” she says quietly.

“You know what? You’ll find someone else to give them to,” he says optimistically, holding her at arm’s length, his hands warm on her shoulders. “They’re so cute, whoever gets them will be super lucky! Or… we could eat them?”

Kotori sighs. “I don’t want to,” she says, leaning back into him. “Let’s just make everyone else’s.”

Alit runs his fingers through her messy hair. “Okay,” he says. “You go get ready and I’ll get started. I promise I won’t burn your house down.”

When she’s back upstairs, brushing her teeth, she grabs her phone from her bedside table and opens Instagram, navigating back to Ryoga’s page and opening the picture she’d seen the night before. They’re so infuriating, she thinks bitterly as she re-reads the caption under the photo of them showing off matching couple’s rings.

_ Ten years together, but we’ve never really been together. I love you. _

Ugh. Kotori narrows her eyes and double-taps it before washing her mouth out and staring herself in the mirror. Last night’s mascara stains her under-eyes and she’s definitely seen better days. She sighs again, bringing her phone up to type in a comment.

_ congratulations! you two are soooo precious together~ _

Send.

Finally, her face is freshly washed and layered with her skincare routine, and she’s wearing a different set of pajamas, shorts and another bralette, because real clothes are too hard to wrap her head around right now. She grabs a sweater before heading back down.

“Hey, c’mere. This chocolate I got is supposed to taste like sakura,” Alit calls from the kitchen, no doubt having heard her footsteps. “I wanna know if you like it.”

She steps onto the tile, watching as he stirs it on a double-boiler with a spatula. “Sakura?”

“Yeah. Like that milk tea you always get, ‘cept it’s chocolate!” he says, dipping his finger into the melted chocolate. “Try it.”

Her fingers curl over his wrist as she licks it off. “Oh. That’s sweet.”

“You like it?”

“Yeah.”

“Good, ‘cause this batch is for you,” Alit says with a grin.

Kotori laughs. “You’re sweet too,” she says, wrapping her arms around his waist. “I’ll do mine after you. What molds do you want?”

“The kitty ones?”

“They’re so cute! Good choice.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> supportive bi bff alit is Great~ are y'all excited for the valentine's day ep tomorrow? :3


	8. valentine's day

At least the cafe is cute. There are pink and red decorations everywhere, all her friends are there, and they have a special menu just for today. Kotori orders herself an adorable hot chocolate that comes in an oversized teacup with heart-shaped marshmallows and sprinkles, but it’s not enough to make her feel better.

Focusing on getting a decent Instagram pic of it while listening to Rio and Vector bicker over the menu is the only thing keeping her sane right now.

“Hey, you okay?” Alit asks from across the table.

“Peachy,” she says, snapping another photo and examining it. Good enough. “Hey, does the cake taste good?” she asks.

Rio slides Vector’s half-eaten plate to her. “Yeah, try it,” she says, and Vector gawks at her like he’s actually offended.

Kotori grabs his fork, taking a bite and slowly sliding it from between her lips. “Oh, it is,” she says with a teasing smile his way. “Are you gonna finish this, or…?”

Vector rolls his eyes. “Take it,” he says, waving his hand flippantly. “You need it more than me--”

“Vector!” Rio swats his arm.

“What?”

Kotori’s unbothered. She gets free cake, and that’s the least of the reparations she should get for having to endure this get-together. Unbidden, her eyes flicker down the table to where Ryoga and Yuuma sit, so close their knees touch as they chat over a shared pot of blossoming tea. She takes a deep breath and finally brings the oversized teacup to her lips, taking a sip.

“Ahhh, this is so good…” she sighs. “You were right, it’s perfect Rio.”

“Of course I was right,” Rio says, nudging her. “You feel better?”

“No.”

“Eh, worth a try,” she says, leaning against her and warming her up. Then, quietly, “If it makes you feel better, Vector didn’t even get me flowers.”

Kotori giggles. “Maybe for the best. Last time he gave you weeds.”

As much as they’d thought they were doing a decent job of sneaking around, nothing passed Kotori. She’s the first and only person to know that Rio and Vector are dating, because over a year ago she’d guessed that they’d been sleeping together only for Rio to slap a hand over her mouth and shush her in a total panic.

She sighs again. It’s not like she’s the only single person in their group, but knowing two of her favourite people have significant others makes her deflate. It doesn’t help that Cathy has spent the entire afternoon thus far fawning over Takashi, and Mizael keeps insisting he has a girlfriend but no one’s ever met her.

Kotori has a feeling he’s just trying to make someone jealous, but she hasn’t figured out who yet.

Another sip of her hot chocolate and she wonders if they’ll all like the chocolates she made for them this year. She’d used a different recipe, just for fun, but with the same molds she’s used since high school. They’re pretty, at least, thanks to Alit. He’d finished the process of putting them all together for her after she’d burst out crying halfway through.

There’s a tap at her shoulder and she looks up only to stare directly at Yuuma, the source of yesterday’s tears.

“Hey!” he greets sheepishly. “I was wondering if you had any painkillers? You always carry ‘em, right?”

“Yeah,” she says, trying to control the beating of her heart. “They’re in my purse--”

Her eyes widen as Yuuma digs through her purse, realizing her mistake. “Hey! Who are these for?” he asks, pulling out the decorative box that was originally for him, and her heart drops. He grins. “They look special!”

“Ah--”

Kotori doesn’t even know why she brought them. She’d just shoved everything on the counter into her bag this morning without thinking, only realizing they’d made it with her after she’d handed out the rest.

The cafe door opens behind Yuuma in a wave of good timing. “Kaito,” she breathes out, recognizing him immediately. No one had told her he would be coming today.

“Kaito?” Yuuma asks.

Kotori gets up in a hurry, sliding her chair back and taking the chocolates from him. “Yeah,” she says, ignoring the looks Rio and Alit shoot at her. “They’re for Kaito.”

There’s no time to second-guess what the hell she’s doing as she heads up to the front of the cafe. Kaito smiles when he sees her.

“Hey, Kotori.”

“Hey,” she says, stepping in close to whisper. “Please don’t be mad.”

He tilts his head at her. “Why would I be--?”

She holds out the box to him, as if her heart isn’t beating out of her chest. “These are for you,” she says, and understanding dawns on him.

Kaito wraps an arm around her shoulders, pulling her close and kissing the top of her head. It’s cute and sweet, or it would be if any of this were real. “These aren’t really for me, are they?” he whispers back.

Everyone’s eyes are on them, including Yuuma’s, and she ignores all of them to pretend that she really is perfectly happy. That these really were for Kaito. That bringing them hadn’t been a terrible mistake.

“I’m sorry. You can still have them, though.”

“It’s okay,” Kaito says, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. “Let’s share them with Haruto when he’s over next.”

“Yeah,” Kotori says, forcing a bright smile as they make their way back to the table. “That sounds… good.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kaito is very smooth here. like peanut butter, perhaps.
> 
> happy valentine's day, everyone :3


	9. february 19th

“You made these?”

Haruto’s eyes are wide as he picks the box of chocolates off the coffee table, observing the horrendous mistake Kotori made only a week ago.

“Yeah,” she says. “Though Alit helped.”

“These don’t look… like the ones you normally make.”

Kotori presses her lips together. “They’re different, yeah.”

Haruto’s eyes slide over to her as he grins. “So, you gave them to Kaito, huh?”

She glances toward the kitchen, where Kaito is preparing dinner for the night, and hopes he can’t hear them over the sound of the stove’s fan and whatever’s sizzling in the pan. “I did,” she says, crossing her legs up on the couch. “You should be grateful I gave them to him at all.”

“Huh? What do you mean?”

“They were for someone else,” she says dismissively. “Now focus, you still haven’t finished your homework.”

Haruto pouts. “I have all weekend for that!”

“So you can leave it till Sunday night? I don’t think so.”

“Uh--”

“Come on. I bet you can’t get the rest of the equations done by the time dinner’s served.”

“Bet what?”

“Dessert,” Kotori says with a saccharine smile. “You won’t get to eat any of my special chocolates.”

“Ugh, fine.” Haruto stops twirling his pencil between his fingers and sets it to the page. “You’re on.”

When she’s certain he’s working, Kotori leans down to slide her laptop out of her bag. Unfortunately, she has work to do too. Finals week is next, and then graduation. She doesn’t have time anymore, and she still doesn’t have a placement. No job, no prospects.

There’s no time left to worry about chocolates or jilted first loves or anything but her future and securing it.

Kotori huffs out a breath, brow furrowing as she types too loudly on her keyboard. Haruto glances up at her, but doesn’t ask as she fills out yet another application before opening up her last assignment of the year. But the last thing she can do right now is focus. Giving up for the night, she unfolds herself from the couch, ready to find out what Kaito’s been cooking.

It smells delicious, like the stirfry her mom always makes whenever she’s home from a business trip (which isn’t often anymore).

Kaito doesn’t hear her come in, with blue wireless earbuds snug in his ears. She wonders what he listens to, whether it’s music or a podcast, before tapping him on the shoulder. He looks up and smiles at her, taking his earbuds out and pocketing them.

“Hey. You hungry?”

“Kinda,” Kotori admits, leaning back against the counter as she watches him pour water into a pot full of chopped vegetables. There’s a bowl of cooked beef on the counter along with a box of curry packets. “What are you making?”

“Beef curry,” Kaito answers, stirring the pot before topping it with its lid to simmer. “Haruto’s been craving it, but he says takeout isn’t the same.”

“It really isn’t,” she agrees. “So, how long will it take?”

“Maybe… forty minutes?”

“Oh good. Haruto should be done with his homework by then.”

“You make another wager?”

“Yep. No chocolates unless he finishes by the time dinner’s served,” Kotori says with a smile. “Though, he’s smart. He might finish early.”

“He’s not just smart,” Kaito says meaningfully. “You’ve helped him a lot. He was really struggling before.”

“Yeah, with his attention span,” she corrects. “We just had to make things interesting for him.”

“In any case, you’re making a huge difference,” he says with a shrug. “Maybe I should give you a bonus, since you’re graduating soon and all. Have you found a job, yet?”

Kotori thinks back to the slew of rejection emails, the number increasing over the weeks to well over ten. “Not yet,” she says, trying for a smile that only comes out pained. “I don’t know if I will, honestly. One of the many perks of being a girl in a field dominated by men, I guess.”

It’s the only reason she can think of, since her grades put her on the honour roll and she interviews well. She borrows her mom’s clothes, skirts and blazers and blouses that make her look like she already belongs in the office. They’re even impressed with her final coding project. But no bites.

Another sigh. “I don’t know what I’ll do if I can’t find a job in my field. Maybe I’ll work part-time again. Until something better comes up.”

“Don’t worry,” Kaito says reassuringly. “You’ll find something.”

He says it with such confidence that it’s almost jarring. “You think?”

“Yeah. Maybe I can leverage some contacts for you,” he adds. “I mean, they’re more Chris’ contacts than mine, since he’s the head of the department, but I’m sure they’ll still respond to a recommendation. You’re looking for programming work, right?”

“Yeah, like, in software development.”

“I’ll check the internal listings for something like that, too, then.”

The last thing Kotori wants to do is get her hopes up. “That would be amazing,” she says, trying not to sound too desperate. “Thank you.”

“No problem. It’s the least I can do, with everything you do for me.”

Her heartbeat goes wild at the way he looks at her, the way he smiles so softly just like he did on New Years Eve. “It’s nothing,” she says, like she always does. “I’m gonna… check on Haruto. See how far he’s gotten.”

“Okay. I’ll let you know when dinner’s ready.”

When she sits back down on the couch, Haruto looks up from his homework and smirks like he heard everything, including the way her heart still pounds in her chest. Kotori glares back, and he giggles before finishing off another equation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my heart would go dokidoki too kotori, it's ok <3


	10. march 5th

Kotori shuts the door behind her, leaning back against it and sighing. Her feet hurt from wearing heels across the city, balancing on them precariously for the whole forty-minute monorail ride, and she tugs them off, letting them fall to the floor instead of slotting them onto the rack.

All that effort, the outfit, the makeup, the monorail into downtown, the entire hour waiting alongside five other hopefuls only for them to decide to hold a group interview. She’d nailed every question, gotten them to smile at her, politely nod at her, aced the secondary interview that had her debugging a program, and yet. A rejection. Again.

Her fingers press into her eyes, smudging her mascara. Still no job. No more interviews lined up for the month. No luck with the online job boards.

“Fuck,” she mutters, before heading up the stairs, pulling her blouse out of her skirt and beginning to unbutton it.

Piece by piece, she takes off her interview outfit and throws on her pajamas. Shorts and a t-shirt, no bra because she doesn’t plan on leaving the house again. Not after bombing that badly. Despite being perfect, despite every smile and nod she’d received, it had still been a resounding, unanimous,  _ no _ .

Kotori’s starting to wonder if she’s only ever chosen for interviews so they can tell HR that  _ yes _ , they  _ did _ attempt to hire a woman. The programming industry can suck her non-existent dick.

A total waste of makeup. She shouldn’t have wasted a single swipe of expensive blush on this, even if it did make her look more alive. They wouldn’t have cared. The one they hired in the end had sallow skin like he lived in his mother’s basement on a diet of Mountain Dew and Cheetos.

Kotori heads into the bathroom and pumps out her oil cleanser into her palm, massaging it into her skin before washing it off. Then her foam cleanser, rubbing it between her hands till the bubbles are thick, and she does the same thing all over again. Layer after layer of her skincare, and not a single one makes her feel better like it usually does. Her therapeutic ritual failed, she decides to try another one, heading back downstairs and into the kitchen.

The can of beer she grabs from the fridge is cold, condensation coming off on her fingers as she cracks it open and takes a long draught. Then she sighs, shutting the fridge door and wondering what the fuck there is to do next other than keep applying.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> anyone else hate the job hunt?


End file.
